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Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

How to save your marriage before it is too late

embrace19167388.jpgAll marriages go through periods of insecurity, changes and challenges. It's how you handle each challenge and face each change that decides whether you save your marriage or let it fail. Marriage is a total commitment to the success of a team over individual accomplishment. You must be able to face each challenge as a team from a unified front in order to find the path to happiness. If your marriage is experiencing a difficult time and you're not sure where to turn, here are some suggestions for how to save your marriage before it's too late.
It may be time to speak to a professional. Sometimes an objective source can put things in perspective that may be miscommunication between partners. You may be able to see the source of the problem more easily and focus more on finding a solution. Therapists can also give you advice on how to deal with problems day to day.
Stay solution oriented. All relationships face conflict, but it's not about who "wins" the argument. If you find yourself constantly trying to outdo your partner in an argument, take a step back and think about what you really want from this discussion. Is it about being right, or about solving a common problem?
Sometimes time apart can help you find a new outlook on your marriage. Taking a few days or even just a few hours to think about the goals you have for your relationship and writing them down can be helpful to finding solutions and a positive path for your marriage.
Write a gratitude list. Each day tell your spouse five things you are grateful for. From the tires on your vehicle to the way she comforts you after a hard day at the office, keeping positive thoughts in your head will help you focus on how much good is in your life and how much you have to be thankful for, rather than focusing on negative issues all the time.
Communicate. You don't need anything except some time alone with your spouse to begin building lines of communication. Let your spouse know what you are feeling, and what you need from him/her. Listening, even when you are facing a conflict, tells your spouse that his opinion is important to you and that you are focused on finding a solution. Most arguments can be diffused simply by listening and acknowledging your partners thoughts and emotions and by respecting their point of view without interrupting.
Spend time together. Set a day each week to spend alone together. Having a date night can be as simple as sending the kids to grandmas and watching a movie at home, or dressing up for a night on the town. Put the children to bed at night and share a conversation rather than watching television or doing laundry.
Stay 100 percent committed to your spouse. If you walk away from problems rather than investing in the relationship and time you've spent together, it's difficult for your spouse to see your commitment to the partnership. Marriage requires a lot of time and energy to make it work every day.
Remain flexible to the changing needs of the marriage. Not everything is going to happen according to plan, and accepting this before something happens can protect you and your relationship from disappointment.
Money is one of the most common sources of marital arguments so staying up to date on your expenditures and income limits can help both of you realize where you stand and where you need to go in the future.
No marriage is unsalvageable if both partners want it to work out. In the beginning your love and respect for each other was enough to get you through the first trying years, so refocusing your efforts and commitment level before it disappears is important and well worth the investment you've made in each other.

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Staying committed to your spouse

gift36874163.jpgOur traditional model of marriage in the United States has remained stable and unchanged for more than 50 years. We have based our expectations on the relationships of our parents and grandparents and learned our beliefs about marriage based on the need for financial security, continuity and support. As the world changed and more women have had to integrate family life with work life, this model, although traditional, is not geared towards partnership and supporting individual needs.
The highest rate of divorce in young couples is during the early 20's. After about age 27, most young adults have found their true self and are emotionally mature enough to handle the stress of marriage and family life all while juggling a new job market. Men and women today have a need to find their individual selves before committing to a partnership that may force them to give up some of their individuality. Creating a partnership that honors a functional emotional connection while still ensuring individuality is more along the lines of today's needs and wants in relationships. Couples want more than financial security and a stay at home mom or dad. They want to feel trust, love and spiritual connection through the skills and practices they have learned as children.
Multiple priorities and responsibilities have become more important than attending to spouses and a committed relationship. In order to keep that relationship open and growing, there are suggestions for staying creative throughout the years:
• Take time to coordinate your busy schedules at least once a week and then plan a date night each week. Once a month plan a whole day to spend together doing something special and alone and spend at least one week alone together each year. Take this time to visit new places and get away from the daily commute and responsibilities of daily life.

  • Buy special little gifts for each other just to let your spouse know you are thinking of them. Perhaps a trip to the grocery store includes a bouquet of flowers or a favorite treat.

  • Leave love notes for each other. Text small messages during the day, while away on business or even when you're in different rooms of the house.

  • Spend time together at night. When the children go to bed, take time to talk and cuddle rather than watching television or doing chores.

  • Kiss your spouse every day and make it a point to say "I love you" to them every single day.

  • Communication with your spouse is crucial to a great marriage. Letting your spouse know what you are feeling, your opinions on subjects and what you need from him is important to keep the relationship alive and growing. Actively listening, even when you are facing a conflict, tells your spouse that thier opinion is important to you and that you are focused on finding a solution rather than "winning" an argument. Most arguments can be diffused simply by listening and acknowledging your partners thoughts and emotions.
Marriages take teamwork and commitment to the success of the team over individual accomplishment. Your relationship is your first priority and the ability to form a cohesive unit to face the challenges that come in life. Successful marriages come with a lot of time and energy put forth to make it work. Complete commitment to making a relationship works means investing regularly in your relationship and its needs.
Remember to stay flexible to the changing needs of the marriage. The path to happiness will have many bends and forks and being able to take them in stride will help your marriage become stronger and more fulfilling. If you make the commitment to stand by your spouse even during the toughest moments, it becomes easier to skip through the smaller, trying episodes because you both will feel secure and loved in your relationship.

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

How to Add Romance in Your Marital Relationship



Be focused
You need to pay attention to every likes and dislikes of your partner. Once you loose the interest of the likes and dislikes of your partner, life might become a little dull. So, stay focus in life and pay attention to the likes and dislikes of your partner.

Appreciate wherever required
Your partner needs to be appreciated in public. But it does not mean that you will not appreciate your partner in private. Appreciation by your loved ones will make a difference in your life. Your partner must be doing something or the other to surprise you. You need to understand that and appreciate it.

Small gifts
Giving small gifts will create wonders. You should definitely give good gifts on birthdays and anniversary. But to add a bit of extra romance in your life you can gift your partner something which he/she will like and give it for no reason. Let there be no reason to give gifts to your partner. The more you keep the relationship alive the better it is for you both.

Plan suddenly
Sudden plans will bring the magic back in your life. Plan for a short trip to a nearby place. A weekend trip will let you spend some time away from work. You will be able to share the time together.

Spend time
It is important to spend some time together. So make sure that you spend quality time with your partner. After dinner sit and talk to each other. Share on how you both have spent the day. If time is the problem then on a weekend spend some quality time.

Remember the good old days
The memories will also help you to add romance in your life. Remember the early days of marriage. Try to do things as per your early days of marriage.
 


Maintain the spark
The spark of togetherness dies after few years of marriage. But you need to keep the romance alive. The spark in the relationship needs to be maintained. If you see mostly all problems arise in a marital relationship due to loss of spark. Be romantic and remember that life is as beautiful as ever.

Tips to add romance in your married life

  1. If you do not wear the wedding ring then start wearing the ring.
  2. Arrange for a date with your partner once in a week.
  3. Accept the difference as no one is perfect.
  4. Bring the sophistication back in your life.
  5. Be gentle, be polite and be soft.
  6. Smile as it might straighten things in your life.
  7. Enhance the intimacy.
  8. Speak frequently.
  9. Don’t fight and go to bed.
  10. Remove the differences by talking it out.
  11. Laugh a loud together.
  12. Watch a favorite movie which is liked by you both.
  13. Listen to your partner patiently.
  14. Encourage your partner in the most possible way.
  15. Forgive if required.
  16. Apologize if you need to.