How to become life-long friends with your siblings

Parents know that when it comes to raising multiple children, there are personality clashes, ability battles, attention ploys, and multiple battles only to conclude that sibling rivalry is part of family life. The degree of rivalry, along with whether or not it has long term consequences, either positive or negative, depends on how parents handle the situation.

Siblings are forever. As parents we wear many hats yet our communications hat never seems to be taken off. Sometime between ages 6 and 10 it's important to teach children what it means to be a brother or sister and that their sibling are a special support system that will be around as long as they live. Even as friends drift away, grow into different characters, the personalities of siblings will continue to bond together and become healthier and more cohesive as they realize that "blood is thicker than water".
It's not an easy trek. Most children will go through years of rivalry, after the thing that they want more than any other in the world; time with parents. They'll act out in order to get parents to intervene on their behalf, make up injuries that need immediate attention and will have jealous moments with their siblings that will leave your heads spinning, but preparing children early on by spending special time with each of them and catering to their unique personalities will ensure that jealousies will diminish and what is left is a lifelong relationships stronger than any friendship. Some ways to increase the bonds between siblings as they grow up together include:

• Put an older sibling in charge. If you have children several years apart, give the oldest child some responsibility for the younger one every once in a while. This will provide motivation for the older sibling to care and the younger child will sense this support. Even a toddler can help care for a younger sibling with supervision.


• Let a sibling provide comfort. When an injury happens to a child, let another child help attend to the injury. It's hard for children not to have compassion for an injured and crying younger sister and even the injured patient will find it difficult to hate the one that is comforting them in their time of need.


• Let them give emotional support. When one child is physically or emotionally hurt, encourage other children to comfort the injured child to ease the pain. This special form of brotherly or sisterly love helps children play the role of support system long before they understand what it means to support and care for their siblings. As they grow older this type of support system will become commonplace to them.


• Let them teach each other. Encourage your children to teach each other skills that he or she is already proficient at. If you have a great baseball player in the family, have him show his younger brother how to throw and catch a ball. Siblings are a great source of educational assistance when they have already learned about fractions or how to conjugate verbs. As parents, many of us have lost the art of some of the needed knowledge in school, but older children may be able to explain the process easily to a frustrated younger sibling.


• Work together. Assign chores or tasks that require siblings to work in teams. Learning cooperation can be great motivation for siblings with clashing personalities that have a common goal.


• Sharing rooms. This is an age old debate, but most parents who have children who share rooms also see that they are typically more able to play together peacefully during the day as well. This teaches children respect for other's possessions and how to resolve conflicts that can arise in any cohabiting situation.

Families that practice these skills, as well as open and honest communication within the home are more likely to change sibling rivalry into sibling friendship. As with any relationship, nurturing a sibling partnership takes patience, honesty, trust and time. All of which can be taught through healthy home life with parents that are willing to put the effort into providing fair and equal treatment within the family structure.